Here it is, folks, the final battle! A matchup for the ages, fought between Shan Cassidy, who's somehow made it this far despite her weapon being held together with duct tape, and Drake Miri, who's somehow made it this far despite being Drake Miri!
The wheel goes spinny and lands on a ruined castle. The walls are destroyed rather than breathing, so I assume this isn't the Crumbling Castle, but it's still appropriately ominous. Nice and foggy, as well.
Drake sees Shan and readies his tonfas. He runs towards her and raises them into the air, but she blocks the attack with her forearm and shoves, sending him stumbling backwards. As he regains his footing, she takes a swing with her metal bat. It impacts his forehead with a pretty nasty sound, but it seems like the weight of the collision combined with the thickness of Drake's skull is too much for the poor bat, and the top half flies off.
As Shan glances over to the side to see what the metallic clang she just heard was, Drake slams a tonfa into her chest.
The air's back in her lungs now. She runs forward, and Drake's eyes are suddenly getting very wide as he realizes what's going on.
Shan strikes Drake in the stomach with the handle of her bat, and he doubles over. She elbows him in the head. He hits her in the leg with a tonfa, but she knees him in the groin. As he's collapsed to the ground in pain (ouch), Shan runs over to the top half of her bat and picks it up. She takes out a roll of duct tape from her sweatshirt and tapes her bat back together, but Drake is starting to recover.
Drake gets up. He runs towards Shan with his tonfas ready. Her back is turned to him. She doesn't see her attacker coming. Ooh, this is gonna be bad.
But just as Drake gets close enough to hit her, Shan hears him coming, turns around, and hits him square in the head with her newly-repaired bat! Ooh, that's gotta hurt! He's back on the ground, and this time it looks like he's down for the count.
We have a winner!
...Hold on a second.
Shan turns around and looks right up at the announcer's booth. That's where I am, folks, in case you were wondering.
"Who are you people anyways?" she shouts upwards. "Why are you arranging these tournaments?"
"Legally, I'm not allowed to answer that." If I can confide in you here, ladies and gents and the like, I'm getting a bit nervous at this point.
Those shadowy tendrils coming from her back don't look good.
"Well," says the Unforgivable. "Shan doesn't seem to have the stomach to kill you. As it happens, I'm not too keen on this tournament thing either, so I'm just going to have to do it for her."
She's pointing up at my booth, and the tendrils are coming upwards. I'm gonna run now- oh, god, they're following me, someone help-
(Ahem.) Hello, this is another announcer speaking. Apologies for the interruption, but it seems Bryn has been forced to exit prematurely. We're sure she'll be fine. No need to worry about her.
Enjoy the rest of your day, and... stay safe out there.
Fearniversary Tournament 2: Electric Boogaloo Redux: Reloaded: Rebirth: Retcon: Sequel!
Saturday, April 18, 2020
Thursday, April 16, 2020
Round 14: Alicia Owly vs Drake Miri
We're almost there! The winner of this
round will go on to fight Shan in the finals. You already know both
contestants so let's not waste any time. I'm spinning the wheel now.
Umm..
The wheel landed on Tetris. I'm not
sure what this means. So.. uh, let's find out.
Our contestants are inside a giant
glass cage. It seems to be about 20 meters long and only two meters
wide. Its height is, I can't tell from down here but it seems to be
very high. There is no escape.
Drake stands on the left side. Alicia
is all the way to the right.
Let's start this thing!
Drake grabs his tonfas and starts
running towards his opponent.
Alicia calmly pulls out her gun and
aims it at Drake.
Drake stops immediately. He looks
around. There isn't anywhere for him to go. Alicia has a clear shot.
Whoa! Never mind, a giant tetris line
block just crashed down in between the two. The blocks are the same
width as the glass corridor. They can no longer see each other, Alicia puts her gun down.
Drake looks up at the sky. “Oh god..
not again!”
Another block comes down right behind
him. This time it's a square shaped block that landed in the left
corner.
Now an L shape comes down on Alicia's
side of the middle line block.
Both contestants are keeping their eyes
on the sky waiting for the next block to drop.
A reverse L block falls on Drake's
side, mirroring the one on Alicia's side.
Now a Z shaped one falls on Alicia's
side. Creating a staircase for her to get up.
It isn't easy since each step is 2
meters high and Alicia is a small woman. Can she reach?
Oh, it seems she can.
She's halfway when the next block drops
on Drake's side. Drake is unaware of Alicia's approach and is focused
on the blocks.
Now he has noticed her standing on the
highest block.
She takes aim again.
Behind her a block drops and creates a
line.
The line disappears and the blocks fall
one line down.
Both contestants lose their balance.
Alicia has dropped her gun, it has fallen on Drake's side.
Alicia regains her footing and retreats
behind the top block.
Drake scurries towards the gun.
Drake has picked up the gun. He notices
a shadow over him. He screams.
Luckily for drake the block is stopped
by the blocks next to him. However he's now trapped in the empty space.
The good news for him is that he's
protected from Alicia.
The bad news is that those blocks seem
airtight. He might run out of air if he isn't released soon.
Alicia has noticed this and climbs back
up. It seems she's planing to surprise Drake when he gets free. She
jumps down and rolls over the blocks.
That might have been a mistake. A
reverse L shape is coming down towards her. She climbs on a block on
the far left where it seems unlikely to land.
Luckily she was right and it lands
safely next to her.
Unfortunately she is now also trapped.
She tries climbing up the two blocks to her right. But the four meter
tall block seems too much for her and she falls back down.
Meanwhile Drake is sitting down, unable
to do much else.
Uh oh, an L block is coming down
towards Alicia.
She has nowhere to go. Is this the end
for her?
Alicia looks up. “Fuck.”
She looks around. The block is six
spaces above her.
She punches the glass with her weighted
gloves, nothing happens. Five spaces.
She doesn't give up and keeps punching.
Four spaces.
A crack appears! She might make it!
Three spaces.
The cracks are spreading. Two spaces!
She managed to create a small hole.
It's not large enough for her to get through. The block is now
directly above her!
She runs and crashes through the glass!
The block slams down behind her just as
she jumps!
She made it!
Unfortunately she was five blocks high and falls all the way down. Ouch..
She's lying on the ground, surrounded
by sharp glass and blood. She's not getting up.
It appears we have a winner! Drake
advances to the finals without having done anything noteworthy!
That is if we can get him out of there
before he suffocates.
This was a weird round but I hope you
enjoye-
* sound of a door slamming *
What was..? Oh, Hella has appeared
inside the announcers booth, she looks pissed. Her eyes are glowing
yellow, huh.
Agh! My chest, it..
My chest feels like it's exploding!
I can't
* A heavy thud *
I can't breathe. Help
Help me.
“For fucks sake, you're still
commentating?” Hella says as she points the Slender man's gun at me.
She shakes her head. “The fuck is
wrong with you? Never mind, where's your master?”
What do you mean?
“Whoever or whatever is responsible
for this motherfucking tournament!” She presses the barrel of the
gun against my head. “Where are they!”
I can't tell you that. Please.
“Can't or won't?”
I can't, please calm down.
“Then you're of no fucking use to
me.”
* gunshot *
* Rustling of papers and clicking of
buttons. *
“Come on, there has to be some
fucking clue here.”
“Wait, is this thing recording?
Fucking hell.”
--
Recording ends
Monday, March 23, 2020
Phase 3, Round 13; Hella vs Shan Cassidy
Acelegin; Hello, everybody! I'm your host, Acelegin!
Red Daniel; And I'm his assistant, Daniel “Red” Ferris!
Acelegin; And we are now in the third phase of the tournament,
hosting round 13!
Red Daniel; Yeah, so there's a bit of a broken pattern there that's
bugging me more than it should. We hosted round 4 and 8, but someone
else did 12.
Acelegin
shrugs.
Acelegin; Doesn't bother me much.
The ghost of
the Ace of Chaos materializes between Acelegin and Red Daniel.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; And I'm here too!
Red Daniel; Gah!What the hell!?
Acelegin; Oh, hey man. Sup?
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Well, I lost my fight, and now I'm a ghost.
Red Daniel; But you're supposed to be one of Ace's most OP
characters! How did one of these smucks get the jump on you.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; They caught me off guard with a tentacle-y Dying
Man shard.
Red Daniel; Lucky bastard...
Ghost Ace of Chaos; And I wasn't really giving it my all. I mean,
death doesn't have much consequence when you can just come back as a
magic ghost.
Red Daniel; But how are you supposed to drink alcohol now?
The Ghost Ace
of Chaos stares down at his transparent hands.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; You just had to point out the downside to
this, didn't you?
Red Daniel; So how are nicknames supposed to work with you here?
Which of you do I call Ace?
Acelegin; Keep calling me Ace, and call him Ghost or something.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; That works.
Acelegin; Anyway, this is kind mine and Red's thing, so...
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Got it! I'll keep quiet and let you do your
thing. I just wanted to come hang out.
Acelegin; Okay. So, introducing our contestants! First, we have
Hella!
A spotlight
comes on, revealing a pale skinned girl in a gray hoodie, with messy
brown hair and scars over her left eye.
Red Daniel; All right! Another creepy-cute girl!
Acelegin; And her opponent will be... Oh hey, it looks like we got
Shan again! What are the odds?
Another
spotlight comes on, revealing Shan Cassidy, whose metal bat has been
split in two and poorly duct taped back together.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Oh hey! I know her! She was my opponent last
time! Hey Shan! Shaaaaaaaaaaaaaan!
The Ghost Ace
of Chaos begins waving at Shan Cassidy, who looks up at him in a
state of shock and confusion.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; How ya doing!? Tell your shard I said “fuck
you”! Good luck out there!
Red Daniel; All right, settle down, Ghosty-goo. Ace, the spinny-do?
Acelegin; I'm on it.
Acelegin
spins a roulette wheel, that slowly comes to a halt.
Acelegin; And our arena this time will be... a metropolitan city!
Red Daniel; And what kind of natural disaster recently hit this
arena.
Acelegin; Well, uh... It wasn't recently hit by anything...
Red Daniel; Oh. That's a change of pace...
Acelegin; But it is currently being hit by a category three
hurricane...
The
announcer's booth and contestants are transported to a city being
ravaged by an intense hurricane. Shan Cassidy and Hella grab onto
some street signs to keep their footing.
Red Daniel; (shouting to be heard over the wind) Jesus!! The
wind is so loud!!
Acelegin; (also shouting) It looks really dangerous out
there!!
Red Daniel; Why was this even on the spinny-do!!? This is a horrible
place for a fight!!
Acelegin; I don't know, but my luck with that thing seems to be
getting worse.
The Ghost Ace
of Chaos calmly overlooks the battlefield, arms folded.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; This looks promising.
Red Daniel; Hey Ace!!? I know we're safe up here the the booth, but
the girls don't have that luxury!!
Acelegin; Yeah, we'd better get this started before the storm kills
them both!! Let the fight BEGIN!!
Hella draws a
serrated knife and releases her grip on her street sign, allowing the
wind to carry her toward Shan.
Acelegin; Okay, Hella has immediately taken the offense, but Shan is
keeping her at bay by wildly flailing her bat around!!
Red Daniel; Hella doesn't seem overly concerned with her own safety,
and is just focusing on trying to land an attack!!
Acelegin; Yeah, I'm pretty sure Hella just revives any time she dies,
so getting killed here has about as much as it did for Ghost man over
here!!
Red Daniel; Okay, Shan's released her grip on the sign and is making
a break for it!! It seems the wind has slowed just enough that she can
keep herself on the ground!!
Acelegin; It looks like Shan's taken cover in a nearby building, and
Hella is following her in, knife ready!!
Red Daniel; Oh God!! The blood!! The carnage!! The unrelenting
violence!! ...Is likely what I'd be saying if I could see in
there...!!
Acelegin; Yeah, including indoor sections in a battlefield that
people are supposed to be commentating on is a bit of a design
flaw...!!
Acelegin and
Red Daniel sit in silence for a few moments, staring at the building.
Red Daniel; So, have you seen the new Juman-!!
Hella
suddenly comes crashing out of a second floor window and lands on an
overturned car in the middle of the street.
Acelegin; Oh, hey, something's happening!! Hella seems to still be
alive, and is no longer carrying her knife!!
Red Daniel; Yeah, I can see Shan in the window!! She's got the knife
stabbed into hr thigh and is bleeding in a way that some might
describe as “Profusely!!”
Acelegin; And the wind just blew her out of the window and carried
her a distance away!! She's now pinned against a wall!!
Red Daniel; Hella has now ripped a pipe from the car and is charging
at Shan!! Shan has ripped the knife out of her thigh and thrown it,
hitting Hella in the shoulder, grazing it a bit!!
The winds
suddenly slow down, and the atmosphere becomes a lot gentler.
Acelegin; Oh, it looks like we're in the eye of the storn now.
Red Daniel; Does this mean we can stop shouting now?
Acelegin; For the time being, I guess. Not sure how long this'll
last, but let's enjoy it while we can.
Red Daniel; Okay, well Hella and Shan are now dueling with their bat
and pipe, but Shan is struggling with her wounded leg.
Acelegin; Shan just slipped and fell down onto one knee. Hella's now
pinning her weapon hand to the ground with her pipe, and is reaching
toward Shan's chest with her free hand.
Red Daniel; Now her eyes are glowing yellow, and Shan's expression
has shifted from agony to horror.
Acelegin; But wait! What's this? It seems Shan's AP has reached its
maximum, as her expression has shifted once again to violent
determination! She bolts back up onto her feet, causing Hella to
stumble backwards in shock!
Red Daniel; She's now Smacking the pipe out of Hella's hand, tearing
the duct tape in the process, causing the top part of the bat to fly
off.
Acelegin; Hella has regained her composure, and is now really pissed.
She's making another motion to palm strike Shan's chest.
Red Daniel; Shan has tightened her grip of what's left of her bat,
and jams it right into Hella's torso, right as Hella's attack lands.
Acelegin; Oh dear, it seems Shan has collapsed. Hella must've stopped
her heart with her powers...
Red Daniel; But Hella didn't make it out unscathed. That bt is
stabbed pretty deep into her gut, and it does not look pleseant.
Acelegin; Hella is indeed bleeding pretty heavily, and has collapsed
to her knees, panting.
Red Daniel; Wow. We should probably call an ambulance for-
Acelegin; Wait! It seems Hella hasn't won yet! I just saw Shan move.
Red Daniel; Hontou? Oh, you're right! Shan's struggling to rise up! I
guess the heart stopping thing's only temporary.
Acelegin; Shan has gotten back up onto her knees, and is looking back
up at Hella. Hella looks pissed as always. The yellow light is slowly
fading, and... yep, she's bleeding out.
Red Daniel; Aaaaaaaaaaaand she's dead. Wow. Um... congrats Shan!
Acelegin; Yeah! Good job. I always love a good David vs Goliath
victory.
The Ghost Ace
of chaos silently claps his hands.
Red Daniel; And to think. She made it three whole rounds without
getting blown up by a rock monster.
Acelegin; Okay! That's it!
A pair of
gloves materialize on Acelegin's hands. He removed one and slaps Red
Daniel across the face with it.
Red Daniel; Gah! The fuck!
Acelegin; I've had enough of your disrespect, good sir! I doth hereby
challengeth thee to a battle-ith!
Red Daniel; Well, I do hereby verily except-ith thine invitation!
Acelegin and
Red Daniel vanish from the booth, reappearing in the battlefield,
each wielding a flint-lock pistol, and Shan Cassidy appears in the
booth in their place.
Shan Cassidy; Okay... um... I'm Shan, and I guess I'm... commenting
on.. their fight now... what?
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Yeah, I'm confused too. But whatever, just roll
with it.
Shan Cassidy; And I'm stuck with the ghost of my previous opponent.
Fucking... great. Whatever. Let's just get this over with...
Acelegin; Okay, they seem to be doing this old school pistol duel
style. They've taken their paces, their turning now, and... they've
both fired.
Shan Cassidy; Oh Jeez, both of them are bleeding pretty badly...
The winds
kick back up again, and a couple trees get uprooted.
Shan; And the storms brewing again. Wonderful.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Neither of them seem too bothered by their
wounds, or the storm. Red Daniel has taken advantage of his bleeding
and has summoned a blood crystal sword and several crystal shards.
Shan Cassidy; Red send them flying at Ace, but he simply dodges them
all and charges right at Red Daniel, picking up a broken street sign
to wield as a weapon.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; The two of them are now locked in intense melee
combat.
Shan Cassidy; Wait, Red Daniel's supposed to be some kind of
overpowered demi-god, right? How is Acelegin holding his own right
now? He's just some normal guy, right?
Ghost Ace of Chaos; considering your last three opponents, including
me, you're the last person who should be questioning this. But if you
really wanna know, none of Acelegin's creations can defeat him in
battle. He's always exactly as powerful as he needs to be to win
against them.
Shan Cassidy; That seems kind of broken, doesn't it?
The Ghost Ace
of Chaos shrugs.
Shan Cassidy; Whatever. Okay, the fight's still going on, and... holy
shit! Ace just picked up an uprooted tree and smcked the shit out of
Red with it!
Ghost Ace of Chaos; And now he's taking this opertunity to get up
close and grab Red Daniel's head.
Shan Cassidy; And he just violently twisted it around, snapping Red's
neck. So, I guess Acelegin wins... And now he's striking a victory
pose... In the middle of a hurricane... Aaaaaaaaaand a flying car
just crashed into him...
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Oooooh... That looked painful.
Shan Cassidy; Yep, he's definitely dead.
Ghost Ace of Chaos; I'd say that's probably worse than that other
time he got hit by a car...
Shan Cassidy; So, there you have it, folks. They're dead, this masked
wizard dude is dead, I won my fight, and... I'm... I'm very light
headed right now...
Ghost Ace of Chaos; Oh, yeah. You're still bleeding from the leg. We
should probably do something about that...
Thursday, March 19, 2020
Round 12: Drake Miri vs The Jester
Hello everyone it's me The Announcer. That's right The! Not like all those other announcers. I'm the real announcer. The one who's been here since day on- Okay technically that's not true as there were like multiple announcers in that first tournament cause they kept dying, but um I've been here the longest and survived the most tournaments and I will survive this one... Even if apparently my death has been mandated this time... We'll see about that. See I brought protection. I got a friend up here who will keep me alive. Isn't that right?
Genome: Indeed it is. I'm totally here to protect this worthless fleshbag and not just here to see Drake get cut into tiny pieces by The Jester.
Once again there's no wheel as both contestants have agreed on a place to fight. The Jester suggested it and Drake agreed... Granted he agreed because Jester was "definitely not" threatening him with the knife "He just happened to be holding" at the time, but hey there's no rule about decisions made under duress in this tournament... I'm not sure there's actually any rules at all. Anyway the contestants are on the Game Master's Board. Drake has his tonfas at the ready and Jester... Has brought a bunch of friends... Seems like it's the rest of his group The Misfits. So... I guess it's Drake vs Jester and his misfits... That's really unfair, but I did already say there doesn't seem to actually be any rules and I'm sure Jester would remove my fingernails one by one if I actually tried to interfere anyway. Anything you have to say Genome?
Genome: Hey Drake! I'm looking forward to watching you die!
Drake has turned to look at the announcer's booth.
Drake: Was that Genome's voice?
The match has started and Gigglepuss has rushed at Drake who's still staring at the announcer's booth. Gigglepuss slashes at Drake's face and Drake has... sidestepped without even looking at Gigglepuss and swung one tonfa around at the back of his head while the other slammed into his gut and then sent him tumbling face first onto the ground.
Drake: No seriously. Was that fucking Genome? Is Genome here right now?!
Gigglepuss is on the ground giggling like a mad man, but doesn't seem to be getting back up. Mr. Bun has rushed in. He slams his fists down towards Drake who blocks it with the Tonfa's before tossing them away and drawing out his knife making a quick slash across Mr. Bun's throat causing the large man to drop to his knees clutching at his bleeding wound as Drake moves past him towards the announcer's booth.
Drake: Seriously. Answer my question!
Jester's sending Lady to try and get Drake's attention, but Drake has stabbed Lady in the eye before Lady even opened his mouth and then proceeded to stab him repeatedly in the torso while repeatedly yelling.
Drake: If Genome is up there I'm fucking coming up there and wrecking shit! So you better tell me if he's up there!
He's... uh... Really fixated on you, huh?
Genome: Oh definitely...
Wait Genome that's my mic you can't!
Genome: Hey Drake! I am here in the announcer booth. If you win you can come up and say hi!
Drake: Oh I'm definitely coming up there you bastard!
Jester: Hey! Kid! We're supposed to be fighting here! Can you focus?
Drake turns on Jester.
Drake: Right... You're my opponent. I kill you and then I kill Genome...
Jester: You know... I'm kind of liking this version of you. All violent and strangely efficient... Maybe instead of killing you I'll make you one of my new misfits... I mean seeing as you've killed all of them, but Crybaby over here.
Jester says gesturing to the old man currently curled into a ball crying. It should be noted he started doing that at the very beginning of the match and I don't think it's actually related to the match itself.
Drake does not seem to care about Jester's taunting and has just begun heading towards Jester. Jester draws out a bunch of knives tossing them at Drake. Drake does not dodge. Taking a knife in his left shoulder, right forearm and seemingly his chest, but he doesn't seem to slow as he in fact starts running at Jester.
Jester takes a step back.
Jester: Are you... Doesn't that hurt?
Drake: Not as much as hearing Genome's stupid fucking voice does!
He yells as he reaches Jester and stabs his knife at him. Jester catches his knife with his knife and draws another knife slashing it at Drake, Drake takes the knife to the face cutting a large gash over his face, but this just seems to make him angry and he lowers his head and slams it into Jester's stomach causing Jester to grunt in surprise. He staggers back.
Jester: Did... Did you just headbutt me?
He asked in a wheezing voice and Drake responds by tackling him and proceeding to stab him repeatedly in the chest and neck. I guess he wins.
Genome: Well done, Drake!
Drake is er... Now heading towards the announcers booth... Um... Genome you're going to protect me ri- Oh Genome's left... Well that's not- Oh hi Drake...No I don't know where Genome is he just kind of ran off... No I can't bring him back... Yes you can stop screaming his name... You should calm do- Oh god you stabbed me! Oh god why are you still stabbing m-
Genome: Indeed it is. I'm totally here to protect this worthless fleshbag and not just here to see Drake get cut into tiny pieces by The Jester.
Once again there's no wheel as both contestants have agreed on a place to fight. The Jester suggested it and Drake agreed... Granted he agreed because Jester was "definitely not" threatening him with the knife "He just happened to be holding" at the time, but hey there's no rule about decisions made under duress in this tournament... I'm not sure there's actually any rules at all. Anyway the contestants are on the Game Master's Board. Drake has his tonfas at the ready and Jester... Has brought a bunch of friends... Seems like it's the rest of his group The Misfits. So... I guess it's Drake vs Jester and his misfits... That's really unfair, but I did already say there doesn't seem to actually be any rules and I'm sure Jester would remove my fingernails one by one if I actually tried to interfere anyway. Anything you have to say Genome?
Genome: Hey Drake! I'm looking forward to watching you die!
Drake has turned to look at the announcer's booth.
Drake: Was that Genome's voice?
The match has started and Gigglepuss has rushed at Drake who's still staring at the announcer's booth. Gigglepuss slashes at Drake's face and Drake has... sidestepped without even looking at Gigglepuss and swung one tonfa around at the back of his head while the other slammed into his gut and then sent him tumbling face first onto the ground.
Drake: No seriously. Was that fucking Genome? Is Genome here right now?!
Gigglepuss is on the ground giggling like a mad man, but doesn't seem to be getting back up. Mr. Bun has rushed in. He slams his fists down towards Drake who blocks it with the Tonfa's before tossing them away and drawing out his knife making a quick slash across Mr. Bun's throat causing the large man to drop to his knees clutching at his bleeding wound as Drake moves past him towards the announcer's booth.
Drake: Seriously. Answer my question!
Jester's sending Lady to try and get Drake's attention, but Drake has stabbed Lady in the eye before Lady even opened his mouth and then proceeded to stab him repeatedly in the torso while repeatedly yelling.
Drake: If Genome is up there I'm fucking coming up there and wrecking shit! So you better tell me if he's up there!
He's... uh... Really fixated on you, huh?
Genome: Oh definitely...
Wait Genome that's my mic you can't!
Genome: Hey Drake! I am here in the announcer booth. If you win you can come up and say hi!
Drake: Oh I'm definitely coming up there you bastard!
Jester: Hey! Kid! We're supposed to be fighting here! Can you focus?
Drake turns on Jester.
Drake: Right... You're my opponent. I kill you and then I kill Genome...
Jester: You know... I'm kind of liking this version of you. All violent and strangely efficient... Maybe instead of killing you I'll make you one of my new misfits... I mean seeing as you've killed all of them, but Crybaby over here.
Jester says gesturing to the old man currently curled into a ball crying. It should be noted he started doing that at the very beginning of the match and I don't think it's actually related to the match itself.
Drake does not seem to care about Jester's taunting and has just begun heading towards Jester. Jester draws out a bunch of knives tossing them at Drake. Drake does not dodge. Taking a knife in his left shoulder, right forearm and seemingly his chest, but he doesn't seem to slow as he in fact starts running at Jester.
Jester takes a step back.
Jester: Are you... Doesn't that hurt?
Drake: Not as much as hearing Genome's stupid fucking voice does!
He yells as he reaches Jester and stabs his knife at him. Jester catches his knife with his knife and draws another knife slashing it at Drake, Drake takes the knife to the face cutting a large gash over his face, but this just seems to make him angry and he lowers his head and slams it into Jester's stomach causing Jester to grunt in surprise. He staggers back.
Jester: Did... Did you just headbutt me?
He asked in a wheezing voice and Drake responds by tackling him and proceeding to stab him repeatedly in the chest and neck. I guess he wins.
Genome: Well done, Drake!
Drake is er... Now heading towards the announcers booth... Um... Genome you're going to protect me ri- Oh Genome's left... Well that's not- Oh hi Drake...No I don't know where Genome is he just kind of ran off... No I can't bring him back... Yes you can stop screaming his name... You should calm do- Oh god you stabbed me! Oh god why are you still stabbing m-
Wednesday, March 18, 2020
Round 11: Kai Ling vs. Alicia Owly
It is I, Terrence Anathema, once again, for my third round of this here tournament, the eleventh round in total, and second round of phase two. And once again, I can scarcely believe my eyes: Our first contestant today is one Kai Ling, moving on to his second round of this tournament after having a very intimate knife party with the departed Kaden Crowley in an elevator in an underground car park; and, to my surprise and amusement, our second contestant is Alicia Owly, who I am acquainted with from my previous round of narration. I know what she can do, and I think I should have to place my proverbial bets on her for this round. Our arena for today is the car park outside the library where Alicia and Jordan fought, and from what I can tell Alicia has been sat outside the library since the end of her last round (and, as an aside, Jordan has regained his composure and is continuing his Joyce studies inside with the book Alicia left with him). Since Kai's last round was also in a car park, this could be anyone's game, really.
Our players have readied themselves and are now beginning their fight. However, I find myself being tapped on the shoulder, and when I turn I see Archangard standing behind me.
"Hey there, Terrence. How are we tonight?" he asks me, and I nod to show that I am doing okay.
"Been a while, man. I am not surprised to find you here, for I knew you would survive Hella's heart-stop attack after you left the arena."
"Ah, yes, that. I took a good long sabbatical after that, and now I'm back to normal, I think. And speaking of, how is she doing in this tournament?"
"She killed your slender man," I tell him, and see a hint of a smile cross Arkngard's face.
"Not surprising. I wish her well, so do be sure to let her know that when next you see her." He gets up to leave me to this round of narration, but hesitates and turns back to face me after a second. "Oh, right, nearly forgot. The reason I came here is to let you know that I've been hanging around the Fear Mythos Discord server, and the higher-ups of this tournament, those whose power is beyond yours or mine, have slated you to die after this round." As he says this, a look of horror creeps onto my face, and he continues: "However, I can save you, if you'd like. And I can tell that you would like me to; that's quite the face you've got on right now," he says and lets out a reassuring little laugh.
"Yes, my face betrays my desire; I would quite like that," I say in reply.
"Not so fast, man. I will save your life if you really want me to, however my doing so will come with a grim revelation, and if you're unequipped to handle its ramifications, you might quickly come to regret your choice, and it will be for nothing." He pauses, allowing me to ponder my predicament.
As I think on my situation, I turn again to view the arena. I can see Kai has managed to steal Alicia's gun and is firing wildly at her. He never did have all that good aim, I recall from reading about his last fight. Alicia looks to be under cover of a car, lying in wait for Kai to approach. I am going to officially make my prediction that she will be the one who wins this fight.
With that, I turn back to Archangard, still somewhat uncertain about my choice. "Can you maybe give to me a hint as to what this revelation will be?"
"I suppose so. Have you read my dear colleague Magreat's blog The Blog Without a Face?"
I can't say I saw that coming. "I have, yeah, but, God, it's been years. So the big twist of that blog is the big twist of my life, I take it?" Arkngard nods. "Well, I actually have been considering that possibility for some time now. In fact, my writing Autumn of Black Leaves kind of solidified that thought in my mind, made me believe that it was pretty much guaranteed."
"Then get ready, and we'll be off in just a moment." He gets his phone out and starts typing away on the screen. After a bit he speaks again: "It looks like the fight is over, so when you're ready, announce the results and we'll be off."
I turn back to the arena one last time. Kai is on the ground, still breathing, but not moving. Alicia has retrieved her gun, now empty, and walks back towards the library. Therefore, I declare for the second time, ladies, gentlemen, theydies, that Alicia Owly is the winner of this round.
With that, Archangard presses one final button on his phone, causing the world around us to fade to black for a moment. He seems to have teleported the both of us to a far away place, away from the Fear Mythos higher-ups' grasp. I can't describe the place we're now in, because I can't risk them finding me. I turn again to face Arkngard, then recoil in horror.
"Something's changed, that's not your face. It's mine! It's mine!"
Our players have readied themselves and are now beginning their fight. However, I find myself being tapped on the shoulder, and when I turn I see Archangard standing behind me.
"Hey there, Terrence. How are we tonight?" he asks me, and I nod to show that I am doing okay.
"Been a while, man. I am not surprised to find you here, for I knew you would survive Hella's heart-stop attack after you left the arena."
"Ah, yes, that. I took a good long sabbatical after that, and now I'm back to normal, I think. And speaking of, how is she doing in this tournament?"
"She killed your slender man," I tell him, and see a hint of a smile cross Arkngard's face.
"Not surprising. I wish her well, so do be sure to let her know that when next you see her." He gets up to leave me to this round of narration, but hesitates and turns back to face me after a second. "Oh, right, nearly forgot. The reason I came here is to let you know that I've been hanging around the Fear Mythos Discord server, and the higher-ups of this tournament, those whose power is beyond yours or mine, have slated you to die after this round." As he says this, a look of horror creeps onto my face, and he continues: "However, I can save you, if you'd like. And I can tell that you would like me to; that's quite the face you've got on right now," he says and lets out a reassuring little laugh.
"Yes, my face betrays my desire; I would quite like that," I say in reply.
"Not so fast, man. I will save your life if you really want me to, however my doing so will come with a grim revelation, and if you're unequipped to handle its ramifications, you might quickly come to regret your choice, and it will be for nothing." He pauses, allowing me to ponder my predicament.
As I think on my situation, I turn again to view the arena. I can see Kai has managed to steal Alicia's gun and is firing wildly at her. He never did have all that good aim, I recall from reading about his last fight. Alicia looks to be under cover of a car, lying in wait for Kai to approach. I am going to officially make my prediction that she will be the one who wins this fight.
With that, I turn back to Archangard, still somewhat uncertain about my choice. "Can you maybe give to me a hint as to what this revelation will be?"
"I suppose so. Have you read my dear colleague Magreat's blog The Blog Without a Face?"
I can't say I saw that coming. "I have, yeah, but, God, it's been years. So the big twist of that blog is the big twist of my life, I take it?" Arkngard nods. "Well, I actually have been considering that possibility for some time now. In fact, my writing Autumn of Black Leaves kind of solidified that thought in my mind, made me believe that it was pretty much guaranteed."
"Then get ready, and we'll be off in just a moment." He gets his phone out and starts typing away on the screen. After a bit he speaks again: "It looks like the fight is over, so when you're ready, announce the results and we'll be off."
I turn back to the arena one last time. Kai is on the ground, still breathing, but not moving. Alicia has retrieved her gun, now empty, and walks back towards the library. Therefore, I declare for the second time, ladies, gentlemen, theydies, that Alicia Owly is the winner of this round.
With that, Archangard presses one final button on his phone, causing the world around us to fade to black for a moment. He seems to have teleported the both of us to a far away place, away from the Fear Mythos higher-ups' grasp. I can't describe the place we're now in, because I can't risk them finding me. I turn again to face Arkngard, then recoil in horror.
"Something's changed, that's not your face. It's mine! It's mine!"
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
Round 10: Shan Cassidy vs. the Ace of Chaos
This next fight is between Shan Cassidy and the Ace of Chaos, because apparently having a master of chaos magic go against a random twenty-year-old who looks like she shops at Hot Topic is a fair fight.
The wheel goes spinny, and it lands on... wow, that's boring. It's just a bridge over a dark river at night. Shan's on one end of the bridge, and the Ace is on the other.
"...Well," he says, tilting his head. It would be hard to tell what he's feeling behind his mask, but his voice says it all. Chaos halos form around him.
She sighs. "More of this bullshit, huh? Whatever." She grips her bat tight. "Let's get this over with."
The Ace throws one of his halos. Shan, not taking any chances, dodges out of the way and starts running at him.
"I'd rather not have to do this, but you're not leaving me much choice," Shan says as she gets close to the Ace and prepares to swing her bat.
"I don't think you'll get the chance to do much of anything," the Ace replies as he grabs one of the chaos halos and slices it at her. She swings her bat into the chaos halo, but it cuts through the bat.
"I don't like that," she growls. "Hey, Unforgivable, mind backing me up a bit here?"
Shan smiles as tendrils made of shadow erupt from her back. "No problem," she says, her voice still the same but her tone far more malicious.
"Oh, good, she's got a Dying Man shard in her," says the Ace, backing up.
The Ace throws a chaos halo at Shan, or rather, the Unforgivable. She tosses it aside with one of her shadow tendrils and laughs.
"It's going to take a lot more than that to kill me, little man."
"How about this?" The Ace summons a chaos sword and charges, but she places a tendril on his chest and pushes him away. She's stiff-arming him with eldritch magic, in other words.
"Cute toys you've got there," she says, laughing.
"They're not."
The Ace slices the Unforgivable's tendril with his chaos sword. The Unforgivable tries to disarm him with another tendril, but he cuts that too and closes the distance between the two of them.
The Ace charges, cutting each tendril the Unforgivable sends at him, and moves to plunge his chaos sword into her chest. It's about to make contact, but she punches him in the chest, sending him sprawling back.
"I don't usually take such a direct approach, but let it never be said that I can't get my hands dirty if I have to," she says as she keeps the Ace on the ground with her shadow tendrils.
The Ace struggles to get up, but the Unforgivable rises up on several tendrils like some kind of bootleg Slender Man and pulls herself toward him. She lowers herself back to the ground and stabs the tendrils into his chest. It looks pretty damn nasty.
We have a winner: Shan Cassidy, or the Unforgivable, or whatever!
The wheel goes spinny, and it lands on... wow, that's boring. It's just a bridge over a dark river at night. Shan's on one end of the bridge, and the Ace is on the other.
"...Well," he says, tilting his head. It would be hard to tell what he's feeling behind his mask, but his voice says it all. Chaos halos form around him.
She sighs. "More of this bullshit, huh? Whatever." She grips her bat tight. "Let's get this over with."
The Ace throws one of his halos. Shan, not taking any chances, dodges out of the way and starts running at him.
"I'd rather not have to do this, but you're not leaving me much choice," Shan says as she gets close to the Ace and prepares to swing her bat.
"I don't think you'll get the chance to do much of anything," the Ace replies as he grabs one of the chaos halos and slices it at her. She swings her bat into the chaos halo, but it cuts through the bat.
"I don't like that," she growls. "Hey, Unforgivable, mind backing me up a bit here?"
Shan smiles as tendrils made of shadow erupt from her back. "No problem," she says, her voice still the same but her tone far more malicious.
"Oh, good, she's got a Dying Man shard in her," says the Ace, backing up.
The Ace throws a chaos halo at Shan, or rather, the Unforgivable. She tosses it aside with one of her shadow tendrils and laughs.
"It's going to take a lot more than that to kill me, little man."
"How about this?" The Ace summons a chaos sword and charges, but she places a tendril on his chest and pushes him away. She's stiff-arming him with eldritch magic, in other words.
"Cute toys you've got there," she says, laughing.
"They're not."
The Ace slices the Unforgivable's tendril with his chaos sword. The Unforgivable tries to disarm him with another tendril, but he cuts that too and closes the distance between the two of them.
The Ace charges, cutting each tendril the Unforgivable sends at him, and moves to plunge his chaos sword into her chest. It's about to make contact, but she punches him in the chest, sending him sprawling back.
"I don't usually take such a direct approach, but let it never be said that I can't get my hands dirty if I have to," she says as she keeps the Ace on the ground with her shadow tendrils.
The Ace struggles to get up, but the Unforgivable rises up on several tendrils like some kind of bootleg Slender Man and pulls herself toward him. She lowers herself back to the ground and stabs the tendrils into his chest. It looks pretty damn nasty.
We have a winner: Shan Cassidy, or the Unforgivable, or whatever!
Phase 2: Round 9, The Slender Man vs Hella
Congratulations
to our contestants, you've all made it past your first round! Except
the ones that didn't. This means that we'll be moving on to our
second phase. Which is exactly the same as the first one.
This round will
be between the Slender Man who is wearing a brand new suit. Looking
good there buddy!
His opponent
this time will be Hella, previously known as Fien De Vos. She in
contrast is still wearing the same hoody as last time. It's kinda
dirty from her last fight. Maybe it'd be a good idea to wash that.
We're behind
schedule so let's spin the wheel and get this thing started.
* Drum rolls *
Our arena this
time will be:
A Pokémon rock
type gym arena!
Wait that's
copyrighted. Great, our legal team isn't going to be happy about
this. Unfortunately not much I can do about this. Let's get started
then.
The Slender Man
is about to say something. Hella doesn't care and runs behind one
of the larger rocks. Slendy cocks his head to the side and shrugs. He
then pulls out his gun and slithers over to where Hella is hiding.
Hella jumps out
from behind cover!
Slendy fires his
gun, Hella avoids the bullets by zigzagging between the rocks.
One of the bullet's grazes her shoulder. She doesn't even flinch and just keeps running.
One of the bullet's grazes her shoulder. She doesn't even flinch and just keeps running.
Uh oh, it
appears Slendy has ran out of bullets. Hella sees her opening and
charges at Slendy with her knife.
She thrusts her
knife at him but he is too slender and she misses!
She keeps going
in a flurry of attacks. Slendy continues to be too slender.
A tentacle slams
into her and sends her flying back a few meters.
Slendy takes
this opportunity to reload his gun but Hella is already back on her
feet as if nothing happened.
Slendy aims his
gun at her again. Hella throws her knife at him. Slendy dodges it
with his slenderness again.
But wait! What's
this?! In his distraction Slendy didn't notice her reaching for his long arm. She has grabbed onto it and her eyes are glowing yellow.
She's trying to stop his heart!
Wait does he even have one?
Wait does he even have one?
It seems he does
because he has dropped to the ground and has curled up into a fetal
position.
He has also
dropped his gun and now Hella has picked it up.
Slendy raises his head only to see Hella walk up to him. She presses the barrel of the gun against
his lack-of-a-face. Sweat drips down his blank head. “Man, I really
hope I didn't get to load that gun.”
She pulls the
trigger.
He did indeed
manage to load that gun. The Slender man is dead and his body is
deflating like a party balloon.
Hella turns and
starts walking away. She seems to have decided to keep the gun for
herself. She takes one look back and shakes her head. “I really do
fucking hate faceless people.”
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